Episode 1, Creatures Great and Small writer- Capizzi

- Squillaci abducting cattle in Middle America

- BG’s first quote: ‘Weapons locked. Precision counts. A wasted shot costs taxpayers dearly. Bullseye.’

- Squillaci evade fire.

- BG: Spry devils. Time to go low-tech. And proceeds to attack with his fists.

- ‘No not of this earth surgical probe-wielding invader is going to deprive this planet’s children and their growing bones of even one wholesome glass of milk.’

- TV Reporter: ‘Big Guy, say cheese.’

Big Guy: ‘I’m all teeth.’

- TV Reporter: Once again, our livestock is safe from rustling aliens, and we owe our thanks to the Big Guy.

The report then goes on to state that the new CEO of Quark Industries promises

that after saving the earth for nearly a decade, ‘cutting-edge technology will

render the Big Guy obsolete. We’ll believe that when we see it.’

- Cut to the SS Darkhorse, where the Legend I is coming in to dock. The Big Guy’s pit crew gets on the case.

- Mack: Calamari, yum. Big Guy brought back a squillaci in stasis.

Garth: Fancy shooting, sheriff. And it turns out a man inside operates Big Guy.

Duane: That’s Lieutenant Sherriff. And that he’s a lieutenant. He also wants Jo

to check the calibration.

Jo: Right. Calibration off. Years of operating Big Guy give Duane a sense of

when something’s not working right.

- Back to the TV, apparently some months later, Mitch Gibbons, the reporter, informs us the BGY-11 is now ‘a casualty of progress. Farewell, Big Guy. We’ll see you in the Smithsonian.’

- Back on the Darkhorse, the pit crew dismantles the Big Guy for storage. A bit of a fuss is put up by the crew because some Quark workers are mishandling Big Guy’s highly unstable cobalt thorium power core.

Jo: Science Museum’s close. Implying they can visit it there.

Mack: I’m gonna miss the big lug.

Duane: Male bonding. Might say I end where he begins.

- A very small decommissioning ceremony is held, with Gen. Thorton, the BGY commission, and the pit crew presiding.

Gen: We know the true hero to be the soldier within, but Science finally

promised what it set out to do – build a working robot. Duane gets a nice medal

and lots of time off.

- Jo ponders that Duane will never be praised by the public at large, and asks (for the viewers): ‘So why the big coverup?’

Duane: Army promised the world a robot. Would have looked foolish to the

world if all they could produce was a fancy tank with a soldier inside.

- Later, at Quark, Dr. Axel Donovan, the new CEO, speaks: ‘General, majors, gentlemen of science – Welcome to Quark. I’m Axel Donovan.’

- Donovan introduces his latest achievement – a boy robot - with some help from Dr. Erica Slate. Slate: ‘Rusty’s form mirrors function.’ His streamlined exterior is 100% aerodynamic, he’s powered by nucleoprotons with an impressive arsenal, and has intelligence using a human emotion grid.

- Duane is not impressed, and tells the General. ‘With all due respect sir, they call that toy my replacement?’

- Afterwords, we hear Rusty for the first time:

Rusty: Did I do good, Dr. Slate? I kept my big trap shut just like Dr. Donovan

told me to.

Slate:’ Yeah, Dr. Donovan’s a real card.’

- Rusty comments about wanting to visit the BG at the Smithsonian ‘We could talk. You know, robot to robot. He could give me some pointers’ – apparently he wants to be just like him, and regrets not being able to team up. Then Slate reminds Rusty of Rule #1: Not indoors (flying and powerblasts).

- Oh, dear. The TV reporter informs us of an alien predator. ‘It seems only bent on the annihilation of the human race.’ Hence, it’s called the Annihilator.

- Dr. Donovan is enthused at the prospect of showing off his latest technology: ‘Jenny, it’s show time.’

And it turns out his pet monkey speaks: ‘This ought to be interesting. What – a girl can’t speak her mind?’

- Outside, a crowd of specialists is there to see Rusty off.

Rusty: Wow, this must be a really big deal.

But he’s prepared: I may be small, but I’m a pretty darn good robot.

Donovan: You had better be. And (to Slate): Failure is not an option.

- So Rusty flies off to fight the Annihilator. ‘Ooh, he’s ugly.’ And also strong – he knocks Rusty off hard. ‘OK, good thing that was just practice. Kick in the backup power, and it’s up and – at them?’ Wherein he is promptly squished.

- Dr. Donovan is not amused: Dr. Slate, next time you consider downloading ‘The Little Engine that Could’ into a weapon of mass destruction, don’t.

- Rusty, with a nasty dent in his head, returns to Quark.

Rusty: Hi, people. Just checking in before round two. Pretty monkey.

Jenny is not amused: Ooh, ohh. Ahh, ahh.

- Slate fusses over Rusty for a bit, but as Rusty points out: ‘Didn’t hurt a bit – no pain receptors.’

- Gen.: It’s time to bring the Big Guy back into active duty.

Rusty: Great! Then we can team up!

But Donovan nervously informs him that they can’t because ‘I…we… disposed of the power core.’

- Back to NTV again: Quark Industries has promised us a solution – let’s hope this wasn’t it.

Rusty looks crushed (emotionally).

- Meanwhile, Duane is fishing on vacation when his pit crew flies by in the Legend to tell him of Rusty’s failure and the imminent danger.

Duane: Glad you did. Trout weren’t biting.

- It turns out the pit crew swiped the power core from the Quark packers.

Jo: They never knew; we swapped it for a crate of car batteries.

Mack: We’re going to be court-martialed.

- And back at Quark, Rusty is angsting over his failure. ‘If I don’t have pain receptors, why does it hurt? Why?’ and even though Slate tries to comfort him ‘I’m just a failure; a crummy little hunk of junk.’ And flies off. Slate, though, has an idea where he’s heading…

- At the Smithsonian, now rubble thanks to the Annihilator, Slate finds Rusty, who is looking for the Big Guy.

Rusty: How did you find me?

Slate: Tracer. Rusty angsts about being crummy again, but Slate tells him:’ No,

you’re not – you’re a pretty darn good robot.’

- They meet Duane, who also is looking through the rubble..

Rusty: You were at my presentation ceremony. You didn’t stay for cake and soda…

Duane (in disbelief): What were they thinking?

Slate: That size doesn’t matter. Erika Slate, Rusty’s chief engineer.

Duane: Lt. Duane Hunter, Big Guy’s, uh, chief mechanic.

They sent a child to do a man’s work.

- At this point the pit crew arrives in a truck to pick up Big Guy.

Rusty: Big Guy’s dead!

Slate: No, Rusty, those people are going to put him together again.

Mack: Yeah, kid. Just like Humpty Dumpty.

- As they drive off with the pieces, Rusty flies along:

Rusty: Can I come, Mr. Army Man? I can help Big Guy – I can be his sidekick.

Duane: The Big Guy works alone.

Rusty(to self): How does he know?

- And back at the Darkhorse, BGY is put back, all systems are at maximum, and BG: Clear the decks – I’ve got a behemoth to clobber.

- Meanwhile, at Quark, Donovan tests his backup robots:

Donovan: ‘Go! Engage the enemy!’ And they promptly shoot themselves.

Jenny: ‘We’re monster kibble.’ But then they see the Big Guy fly by. Everyone is surprised, including the General.

- BG: Subject sighted. Definitely not an American.

Then he prepares to fire with a stirring monologue: ‘For every baby who’s ever cut a tooth, for every kid who’s ever studied hard and gonna get a good job, for every living creature on planet Earth, I’m going in. Time to dish out the candy.’

Sadly, it doesn’t work; the creature regenerates itself and then hocks a loogie at the Big Guy that disintegrates his hand.

- BG (removing damaged portion): Sometimes a soldier has to say a farewell to arms.

- Then Rusty shows up.

Rusty: It’s me, your biggest fa- I mean, I’m here to help.

We’ll catch him in our crossfire – I’m armed with nucleoprotonic powers.

He then tries the ‘Clop chopper, one of your classics.’ But only succeeds in

knocking himself into a support.

BG: Kid’s his own worst enemy.

Rusty: That was no darn good.

- A scan of Rusty’s hardware shows he’s definitely ‘loaded to the gills, alright’. So Big Guy decides to do a little creative mechanics, detaching Rusty from his feet. ‘Relax, I’m a professional.’ And inserts him into his arm. ‘Thank Henry Ford for standardized parts.’ He then proceeds to use Rusty as a weapon to defeat the Annihilator.

- Rusty: Big Guy, we did it! We were incredible! Hey, want to grab a proton shake, or – something?

But Big Guy has already left.

- Rusty’s still bummed at Big Guy’s recommissioning ceremony.

Rusty: Big Guy’s the greatest; but I still wish he didn’t work alone.

Slate: Remember, you’re still a boy.

Rusty: A boy robot.

- Meanwhile, Gen Thorton is informing Duane of a monumental decision.

Gen: Lieutenant, I admit mistakes were made – big ones. However, it is with mixed feelings I inform you that you will no longer be working alone.

Duane: The kid, right?

Gen: It is no doubt in my mind that he will become a better soldier under your

guidance.

- So, the Big Guy gestures for Rusty to join him, and introduces him to the media: BG: Can’t relish the victory without my new partner.

Rusty: Partner? I don’t believe it!

BG: Neither do I.