Episode 11, The Big Boy writer – Marlowe Weisman; producer – Frank Squillaci
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At Quark, a dejected Rusty measures himself with
help from Dr. Slate.
Rusty: I’ve been powered up for months and I haven’t grown a single inch.
Slate: Rusty, robots don’t grow, they upgrade.
Rusty: Big Guy’s not gonna want a shrimp for a partner forever.
A dejected Rusty leaves, and wanders past the firing range at Quark.
Rusty: I’ll never be big like Big Guy; I’m always going to be a boy robot.
At the firing range, Dr. Lester is testing her lastest robot model.
Rusty: Hey, Dr. Lester. What’s that?
Lester: Oh, my new boyfriend? This is the Spartacus T-7000, a fully functional robot prototype model – without the head, of course.
Rusty: (marches in wearing T-7000) Dr. Slate, check it out – I’m all grown up!
But before Slate can make any adjustments, the Big Guy signal goes off. Rusty prepares to fly out the usual way before realizing he now won’t fit.
Rusty: Heh heh, I’ll take the door.
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Rusty quickly flies out to help Big Guy take on a
giant monster.
Rusty: The T-7000 sure is fast, and that lizard sure is big!
Big Guy: Rusty?!
Rusty: (deeper voice) Please, call me
Russ.
- Russ helps BG make short work of the lizard using a nifty chest gun.
Russ: I nailed him, and I didn’t even fall on my butt! Cool!
- BG then swings the lizard out of New Tronic City by his tail.
BG: Tails, you lose.
… and finally has a good look at
Russ..
BG: Sweet Betsy Ross.
Dwayne: Hmm, something’s different. (realizes, sarcastically) Haircut!
- Back at Quark, everyone debates how to deal with the new Rusty situation.
Mac: What’s next, he’s going to grow whiskers?
Jo: I think you have to grow acne first.
Others have a more positive outlook of the situation, though.
Jenny: The robot formerly known as Rusty is the new media darling.
Thornton: The last line of defense, finally.
And so, a montage begins of a competent Russ helping BG out with a robot bird, a two-headed ape, and some weird eyeball aliens..
Russ: I can see the whites of their eyes!
The famous Russ still has time to encourage school children.
Russ: And you can grow up to be anything you want, too!
Not all is well at Quark, though. The Bot Choppers have initiated Operation Cleansweep – a theft of Quark. As General Thornton notes, they steal robots and sell them to the highest bidder. It is believed they will go after the corruption codes. Donovan suggests they be guarded by some of the slower robots.
Jenny: Right, they’ll be a big help...
I’m not sure 100% what happens next, but for some reason the ChopShoppers were unable to swipe the codes, but took the slower robots again. Another meeting is held where this is announced
Russ: I’ll make them pay – they bot-napped fellow bots, you know…
It is also agreed that Russ can now work solo from BG due to his recent outstanding work. He gets his own secret hideout, an oil rig, and his own chief mechanic, a disgruntled Mac.
Russ: My very own secret hideout! How’d you get to be my chief mechanic.
Mac: We drew straws, kid. I lost.
Russ: Mac, I’m not a kid.
- Meanwhile, the ChopChoppers meet up with their clients – the Legion ex Machina, who turn up unexpectedly at their headquarters via hologram.
He looks over their merchandise, the slow robots
Legion: I’m willing to pay top dollar for top merchandise, which this is not.
The ChopShoppers are annoyed until it occurs to them how to acquire a more valuable robot form…
And on the USS Darkhorse, a control-freak bureaucrat has replaced Mac, much to the annoyance of the team.
Jo: Miss him yet?
Dwayne: The kid? Yeah.
Jo: I mean Mac.
Russ is still trying to get Mac to play with him, or at least talk.
Russ: Come on,
we’ll talk about anything you want!
Mac: I’ll talk about
what it’s going to take to shut you up, kid.
Russ: Mac, the
K-word?
Mac: Look, you want
warm and cuddly? Go see your mommy!
Russ: Maybe I will – I mean, Dr. Slate probably misses me a whole bunch. (flies off)
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Unfortunately, at the window of Slate’s lab at
Quark, rusty sees her working on another little robot.
Slate: There you go, little guy. Just a few more adjustments.
A dejected Rusty flies off,
missing what happens next.
Scientist: Thanks for helping me with this tuneup, Erica.
Slate: No problem, Nathan. Your robot is good as new.
Russ (sadly): This solo stuff sure is lonely.
Russ then responds to his own signal and tracks
down the ChopShoppers to their hideout.
ChopShopper: Well, if it ain’t Big Guy-lite. Celeb like him could fetch some bucks.
They then proceed to incapacitate Russ, separating his head from the T-7000.
ChopShopper 1: What do we do with the head?
ChopShopper 2: Save it. It’ll make a nice hood ornament.
And Rusty’s head is abandoned on the work bench
while the ChopShoppers leave with the T-7000 to meet the Legion.
- The ChopShoppers go to the drop-off point, a cryogenic tank farm.
ChopShopper: This means we’re going to be rich, right?
Meanwhile, back at the ChopShopper
headquarters, Rusty’s head reactivates with backup power, and he tries to get
the slower robots from Quark to flee with him.
However, they think it means they have flees, so they blast each other
and then run off, leaving Rusty alone. Fortunately, Mac shows up.
Mac: Knew you was getting a fat head, kid. Didn’t know you’d lose it.
Mac was able to find Rusty using a
tracker he had installed in the T-7000.
He then signals Big Guy to let him know about the exchange with the
Legion. Rusty asks how he knew how to
find him.
Mac: With know-how that comes with experience.
Rusty: I’m too darned young to fly solo.
Mac: And why do you think that is, kid? And I do mean kid.
Properly chagrined, Rusty still
wants to help BG out.
Mac: Kid, you’re just a head.
Rusty: And you’re still my chief mechanic.
- So back at the cryogenic plant, a Legion member arrives with a suitcase of money for the ChopShoppers However, just before the Legion gets to collect, BG shows up.
BG: Hail, hail, the gang’s all here. (notices T-7000) Head’s missing.
Legion member: As yours soon shall be.
The Legion member
introduces himself as #5.
Legion #5: All right then, metal on metal.
They tussle, and the Chopshoppers choose this moment to make a break with the money. Meanwhile, BG destroys #5’s eye laser.
BG: That’s what I
think of trendy eyewear.
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Meanwhile, the ChopShoppers are in the middle of a
getaway when a reconfigured Rusty (his head on a little spider body) turns up.
Rusty: Hey you guys, I gotta bone to pick with you.
ChopShopper: What’s that thing?
Rusty: The name’s Rusty.
ChopShopper: As in junk – scrap him!
Rusty is able to take out the
first one using an oil slick.
Rusty: Belly flop!
And he takes out the second one by
pushing the exit button.
Rusty: Ooo, button! (ChopShopper falls out of his robot unit.)
ChopShopper: Little help? (Leader runs away with the Legion’s money.) Uncle (in defeat)
Meanwhile, BG was able to
incapacitate #5 by spraying him with liquid nitrogen.
BG: Say ahh!
Rusty: Hey Big Guy, wanna see a cookie crumble? (taps #5 with a hammer, causing it to break into tiny pieces)
BG: (sighs) Son, we might have wanted to study that.
Rusty: Oh. Heh heh.
As for the third ChopShopper, as
he’s gloating over his money, an android sets it on fire. Oh, well.
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At Quark, an excited Rusty has measured himself and
realizes he is now 4’1”.
Rusty: While my head was away, my body grew a whole inch!
Dwayne: How could that happen?
Slate: Platform shoes.