Episode 17, Out of Time writer – ?
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At an outdoor military testing facility, BG is about
to test Slate’s latest invention, the EPIC-1, a time machine. BG’s goal is to travel one hour into the
future and then return. The date is
Tuesday May 21 for those curious.
Slate: Prepare for line. Vector set for one hour into the future.
Thornton: I’m not sure about this. Time travel has too many variables.
The machine
takes off, and all is well at first.
BG: It handles like a dream, and has that new time machine smell.
Suddenly, something hits the machine, and all the blinking lights go crazy.
BG: Guidance system regulator’s fried – flying blind.
Dwayne: (exits BG) Mechanic on duty. (to inactive BG) Sorra, fella – engine hull’s not big enough for both of us.
Dwayne crawls to the engine, but on the way bumps into someone – Rusty, stowed away!
Rusty and Dwayne:
(at same time) What are you doing here?!
Dwayne: We gotta swap out that regulator before we land in King Arthur’s court!
While they’re doing this in the back half of the EPIC, the front half holding BG breaks away, and drifts off somewhere into time. The rest of the time machine ends up one hour into the future as scheduled.
Rusty: Are we there yet?
- Unfortunately, this world is drastically different, with lots of water and tubes and junk. And apparently Squilacci are everywhere.
Rusty: Hey, they’re the slime-o space invaders that keep trying to take over the Earth!
Dwayne deduces that since BG was trapped in the
past and unable to help out, that’s probably what happens. And then the
Squilacci notice them – apparently, technology like Rusty isn’t allowed.
Squilacci: Where is your work collar, Earth man?
Dwayne: (sarcastic) The cleaners. (makes a break for it by riding on Rusty)
Squillacci: Destroy the bipeds!
Rusty flies up, through the tube things, which the Squilacci apparently can also do.
Dwayne: You had to go the only place fish could fly.
And then some stuff happens where Dwayne uses his ingenuity to evade the Squilacci, or something. When they try and talk to other people with work collars, they talk in British accents and refuse to say anything. Rusty and Dwayne decide the best thing to do is find this era’s Dr. Slate, who might be able to explain what happened.
Dwayne: If there is a Dr. Slate.
They find Slate, using an old phonebook I believe. She at first doesn’t recognize them.
Dwayne: We know each other. At least in another timeline we do.
Rusty: Uh, and you’re talking funny, too. (notices Slate’s griminess) Ew, you’re all skuzzy…
Slate explains that there is no BG in this timeline, but Dwayne’s description of the robot matches that of an Iron Jack from history..
Slate: (He’s) the clockwork titan that defended against the American revolt with wins in Lexington, Concord, and Ticonderoga.
Dwayne: But that’s not right – America won those battles
Rusty: Yeah! And BG would never fight against Americans!
Dwayne: When the time machine broke apart, BG must have landed in the past, where he was found by someone who climbed inside and, uh, reprogrammed him.
Slate: Iron Jack met his demise at the Battle of Bunker Hill (when he self-destructed?)
Dwayne: (worried) Power core overload.
Fortunately, Slate has access to some technology and knowledge – she knows where the time ship is stored, Grid 814.
Dwayne: History’s broken – we need to fix it.
Slate: I can help – I’m handy with tools.
They sneak off to Grid 814.
Rusty: (watching guard) Squishy fishies! (Squillaci leave)
Dwayne: OK, we find the ship and assess which of the damaged systems are mission-critical… (sees completed time ship in hangar) … or the aliens fix it for us.
Rusty wants Slate to come with
them, but Slate points out that she has to stay because one can’t meet their
future self.
Slate: Besides, I am confident you will see to it that none of this ever happened.
Dwayne: You can count on it, Doc. (to Rusty) Back on the bus, Rusty.
And they disappear in the repaired EPIC with the coordinates set for April 19, 1775. The Squilacci come to stop them but get caught in the ship’s jet fire.
- BG and Rusty arrive in the past, just before the battle of Lexington, with almost no problems, except…
Dwayne: Ship’s out of voltage.
Rusty: I’ll find more! (flies off and runs into some guy, knocking him out)
Dwayne: You just KO’d Paul Revere.
Rusty: Who?
Dwayne: (takes Paul’s hat and latern and gives them to Rusty, pointing) Fly that way, and don’t stop yelling, ‘The British are coming!’
Rusty: (flies off) The British are coming! The British are coming!
Dwayne: (sees British army nearby) Kid’s psychic. (drags Paul Revere behind a bush) Honor to meet you, Mr. Revere.
Dwayne also knocks out one of the
advancing British troops, and steals his uniform. Meanwhile, Rusty is sending out the word.
Rusty: The British are coming, the British are coming! Hey, wake up!
Back with the
British, Dwayne learns that with Iron Jack’s help, the British have already
overwhelmed Lexington and are moving on to Concord. He then calls Lt. Dwayne out.
British Commander: Crooked waistbelt, shirt not in breeches. If you want to serve in Her Majesty’s Army, you had better learn to dress properly. And straighten that sword knot. (walks off)
Dwayne wanders
off from the army, but then is captured by the patriots and General Washington,
who fairly think he’s a redcoat. They
put him in the clink.
Dwayne: Don’t suppose I get a phone call?
Rusty: (thrown in the cell as well, to patriots) But I’m not a Red Coat! Hello, these are red pants!
Dwayne: Rusty!
Rusty: Lt Dwayne, I could have beat them easily, but I didn’t think BG would like me zapping Americans.
Dwayne: Do you feel more comfortable zapping the wall?
Rusty blasts the back wall of the cell, and flies off to stop BG himself, despite Dwayne’s protests.
- At Concord, the patriots are doing a decent job of fighting the British when a new member steps into the fray..
BG: Get thee back, ye rebel rogues.
Patriot: What manner of titan is that? (They fire a cannon or something at BG, which is not too effective)
BG: A foolish deed, mutineers. (prepares to blast patriots, and then Rusty shows up) Be gone, boy, I’ve a battle to attend to. (BG backhands him into a bunch of trees) I’ll teach these thankless Yanks to respect His Majesty.
Um, stuff happens, and then Lt. Dwayne finds
Rusty and they hatch a plan.
Dwayne: You’re bomb squad – I’ll handle Jolly Jack.
BG: (firing on patriots) Take that, ye barefoot tatterdemalions! (sees Rusty flying towards him) Knave, you will swear allegiance to King George, or –
Rusty: Hey, you – think fast! (throws bomb at BG, distracting it enough for Lt. Dwayne to sneak up) Lt. Dwayne, are you going to fix BG’s programming.
Dwayne: Uh, yes…
I think Rusty flies off to further distract BG, but ends up getting backhanded into the woods again. Lt. Dwayne takes the opportunity to punch in the control panel and open up BG, taking out the pilot who turns out to be the British commander from earlier.
Dwayne: Nobody tells a lieutenant of the US military how to dress.
Rusty: (returns, wearing a Davy Crockett hat) Hold it right there, Mr. Sucker Punch!
BG: It’s alright, Rusty. I’m back in the saddle – God Bless America!
Rusty: (happy) BG’s back! BG, shouldn’t we help the Americans win?
BG: We’re doing just that, by stepping out of history’s way.
- Oops! A timehole has suddenly opened over the battle of Concord, and Squillaci flood out..
Squilacci: Our future must be preserved. Eliminate the Americans!
BG: Have to go manoa tentacle. (knocks a Squillaci into the Liberty bell; it cracks) Let freedom ring!
Rusty: So that’s how it happened. (hits another Squillaci) Airmail!
BG: (to the British and patriots who have stopped fighting to watch BG and Rusty take on the Squillaci) Don’t mind the seafood, now fight amongst yourselves.
Patriot: Gen. Washington, sir, what are they?
Washington: Americans.
And BG and Rusty defeat the Squillaci. And the patriots continue fighting.
BG: And that, boy robot, is history in the making.
Rusty: BG, what happened to Lt. Dwayne?
BG: Time travel’s a wily thing, son, but trust me, he’ll be there when we get back.
Now they have to find enough
voltage to power the time machine to get home, and BG has an idea. They pay a visit to one Ben Franklin…
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Back at the airfield, the EPIC-1 is three minutes
late returning, and Slate is anxious.
Suddenly, the EPIC, followed by a kite and key, returns.
BG: Looks like Ben’s kite and key did the trick. We’re back in the good old US of A – kiss the ground, son.