Episode 4, Birthday Bash writer – Alexx Von Dynne
-
A drone sent into space by Quark scoops up some dirt
from a planet (the moon, maybe?) for observation, along with a strange-looking
artifact before heading back to Earth
-
And somewhere at a restricted Quark desert area...
Donovan: Jenny, I’m getting sand in my Italian loafers.
Jenny: Should have worn flip-flops, Doctor D. Where did you think a space probe would land?
- The probe is taken back to Quark, and scientists begin sifting through the dirt.
Donovan: (rushes in with Jenny): I’m Axel Donovan, I’m in charge here.
- Not much is there besides unprofitable dirt until the artifact dislodges itself and begins levitating and humming.
Scientist: Think of all we could learn.
Donovan: I’m too busy thinking of all we could earn!
- At the SS Darkhorse, Lt. Dwayne prepares to take a 24-hour furlough. Mack gives him his own BG signal, ‘Just in case the Big Guy gets all lonesome for you.’
- Walking into the main hangar, the crew finds Rusty holding a one-sided conversation with the BG.
Dwayne: What are you doing here?
Rusty: Just chitchatting with my partner, Lt. Dwayne, sir. You know, robot stuff.
Mack: Oh? And just what did your partner have to say?
Rusty: Er, not much…
- The pit crew finally breaks it to Rusty that BG is currently in ‘shut down’ mode and can’t have much of a conversation. Rusty asks if they can’t just activate him so they can talk.
Dwayne: Big Guy’s not as… advanced as you. He has to stay in shut down mode until duty calls
- Rusty seems disappointed at not having anyone to interact with.
Jo: To bad he’s not invited to the party.
Rusty: What party?
Dwayne: Ah, birthday. For my nephew.
Rusty: Never met a real kid before…
-
Dwayne,
however, nixes the idea, thinking Rusty will be too much trouble. The scene goes back to Quark Labs, where
Dooley and Fitch are preparing to test the gizmo’s properties with Donovan and
Jenny at a distance behind glass.
Donovan: Is it safe?
Jenny: For us.
- Unfortunately, triggering the gizmo causes Dooley and Fitch to merge into a heap of body parts. Horrified, Donovan and Jenny decide to ‘Hide the help and lock away the toy’.
- In another part of Quark, Rusty asks a busy Dr. Slate what a birthday party is, and she tells him involves games and presents.
Rusty: Presents… Oh, you buy presents, like with money.
Slate: That’s right, Rusty, the almighty dollar.
Rusty: Oh. Doctor Slate, could I have some money?
Dr. Slate gives him an allowance (one quarter) if he’ll find something to do until she’s finished with her project.
- Rusty goes off to find a present inside Quark. He stops by the vending machines, where a disgruntled scientist is trying to force a snack out by kicking and shaking the machine. Rusty looks inside the machine, but doesn’t think snack food would be a decent present.
-
Then Rusty sees Donovan and Jenny walk by…
Jenny: Now, I’m no captain of industry, Dr. D, but I don’t think we’ll be selling many of these.
Donovan: Shut up, Jenny.
-
Rusty sneaks into the room they came from and spies
the mysterious gizmo contained in a device not unlike a vending machine.
Rusty: And the pretty monkey said it was for sale...
So he begins kicking and shaking the machine like he saw earlier, causing the containment unit to shatter.
Rusty: Oops.
He
leaves behind his quarter to pay for the gizmo and takes off with it.
-
Meanwhile, somewhere in Middle America, Lt. Dwayne
pulls up in his convertible to a comfortable white house.
Jeffy: Unca Dwayne!
Dwayne: Hey, sport! (lifts Jeffy)
Jeffy: Big Guy, power up! (high fives ceiling)
Darlene: I see you’re still having him salute my ceiling…
Dwayne: How’s my favorite sister?
Darlene: Your only sister is fine…
She asks him how work is, and apparently thinks like everyone else that he’s merely a mechanic for Big Guy. At this point, the doorbell interrupts them. Darlene, surprised that guests are arriving early, opens it to find… Rusty!
-
Not surprisingly, Dwayne is shocked
Dwayne: Rusty, for the second time in one day – what are you doing here?
Rusty innocently says he’s here for the birthday party, and Dwayne says no, he isn’t. Meanwhile, Jeffy is impressed.
Jeffy: Wow! You got Rusty the boy robot to come to my birthday party?!
Darlene: Let him stay. He seems nice… as far as robots go.
- Back at Quark, Dr. Donovan and Jenny check on their artifact only to find the container smashed and the gizmo gone.
Jenny: Maybe the aliens it belonged to came and took it back?
Um, no. At that moment, a portal opens and two aliens come out. The smaller one introduces themselves as Emek and Naard, and says they have come for the Demetrium Agglomerator.
-
At Darlene’s house, Jeffy is impressed by how well
Rusty plays Air Commando, much better than his uncle.
Jeffy: Rusty, you’re good.
Rusty: I’m a boy robot.
Jeffy: I bet you don’t need a mechanic (Dwayne frowns out this)
- Back at Quark, an annoyed Dr. Slate is looking for Dooley and Fitch, who were supposed to help her with the X-12 schematics. She knocks on 14410-Biosynthesis.
Dooley: Go away!
Fitch: We’re not decent!
Slate: You jokesters…
-
Dr. Donovan, meanwhile, has his own problems; he
pushes a button…
Emek: Disclose the location of the Agglomerator (trains a beam on him and Jenny as the robots from the first episode dubbed the Super trio arrives).
Donovan: Boys, show these bums the exit!
Super trio: Exit! Exit! (Super trio leaves)
Jenny: You have such a way with words, sir.
Dr. Slate, having snuck in, decides this is a good time to alert the BG.
-
Meanwhile, Darlene is having a heart-to-heart with
her brother in the kitchen.
Darlene: Any prospects for settling down, getting married, maybe having a kid of your own?
Dwayne: With Rusty hanging around, I have all the kid I can handle. (BG signal goes off) And besides, it’s hard when you’re married to your job.
Rusty’s BG
signal also goes off, and he prepares to reluctantly leave. Jeffy wants to go along to, and Rusty agrees
to take him – then he can meet the BG.
Dwayne obviously nixes this idea.
Surprisingly, he lets Rusty stay for the party; he’s sure the BG won’t
mind.
-
Back at Quark, Donovan and Jenny are on the verge of
being fried for not knowing where the agglomerator is. Donovan offers anything else of Quark’s.
Emek: Well, do you have something that can smash atoms, mutate matter, defy the laws of physics and make entire worlds collide?
-
After discovering a very familiar quarter on the
premises, Slate tries to prevent their destruction by yelling out ‘halt!’.
Emek: Do you know the location of the agglomerator?
Slate: Ah, no?
- Fortunately, BG shows up before the aliens blast her.
BG: That’s no way to treat a lady.
He saves Slate, Donovan and Jenny before dealing with the aliens.
BG: Welcome to Earth; I’ll be your tour guide.
- After making short work of the aliens, Slate and Dwayne have a powwow…
Slate: Lt, where’s Rusty?
Dwayne: My nephew’s birthday party, where I’m supposed to be?
Slate: He didn’t by any chance come with a present, did he?
-
And back at Darlene’s Rusty is entertaining at the
party, until it’s time to open presents.
Rusty wants his opened first.
Jeffy: Wow! That’s the coolest present in the universe – what’s it do?
Rusty: I don’t know… Let’s find out!
-
Dwayne can’t seem to get a hold of his sister, so
the BG is going in person to get the agglomerator back. Slate will try and get
in touch with Darlene, who is tying up the line talking to a friend, Georgia.
BG (to aliens as he ties them up with a metal bar): I’m putting you two on hold, so I can make a more important call.
Donovan (to Super trio): If they move, atomize ‘em!
-
While Darlene’s on the phone, Rusty accidentally
triggers the agglomerator, which combines the fridge from the kitchen with a
TV. A startled Darlene hangs up to
investigate, but the agglomerator merges her into the house’s wall. The children begin to panic, and the phone
rings.
Rusty: That could be important… Hello?
Slate: Rusty, get everyone out of the house, and whatever you do, don’t give Jeffy that present!
Rusty: Um, what if I can only obey one of those orders?
- The aliens happen to overhear Slate’s call and deduce with a wiretap where the agglomerator is (the west coast?). Still bound in the bar, they open a portal and disappear. The Super trio atomizes each other.
- Rusty then proceeds to herd all the children out of the house, except for Jeffy.
Jeffy: Buddies have to stick together!
Rusty: OK! First, we’ve gotta find a place to hide this thing!
- Enroute to Darlene’s, Slate warns BG of the aliens’ escape:
BG:
They’re a whole new kind of wily.
- The aliens then show up with a spaceship and try to use a tractor beam to pull the entire house up and take it through the portal; however, it’s just too big. Naard must go and find the agglomerator himself. Rusty brags that it’s too well hidden. Rusty: Too bad you’ll never find it in a gajillion years.
Accidentally or not, though, Naard crashes into the toilet, and there at the bottom lies the agglomerator.
Rusty: No fair, you peeked! (flushes toilet, causing agglomerator to fall out of house, which is still in mid-air; BG, flying by in the Legend, notices)
BG: Cat’s out of the bag…
- No longer useful, the aliens drop the traction on the house and go after the agglomerator, causing Rusty and Jeffy to plummet. Rusty wants to take off, but Jeffy reminds him that his mother is still part of the house. Rusty decides to try and slow its descent. With BG’s help, it lands safely with Rusty underneath it.
Rusty: No pain receptors.
Jeffy: Big Guy!
BG: Back inside the house, chief.
- Not surprisingly, Emek and Naard get the agglomerator back during all the confusion and threaten to collide the planet with its moon.
BG: Not on my watch!
I forget what he does to get it back, but Emek and Naard end up merged with each other, and their spaceship ends up merged with a tractor-trailer. Both disappear into the portal. BG figures out how to reverse the agglomerator, bringing Darlene back, and gives Rusty a lecture.
- BG: And as for you, young man, I hope this teaches you not to take things that defy the known laws of physics.
Rusty
(dejected): Yes, sir. Sure as
shootin’.
-
A happy Jeffy then makes a request of the hero
robots:
Jeffy: Can they stay for cake, Mom?
BG: Love to, but frosting gums up my servos.
Jeffy: My Uncle Dwayne can fix you up; he’s the best mechanic in the whole universe!
BG: Well, maybe one slice.