Episode 7, Sibling Mine writer –?
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A Quark testing site, somewhere in a desert, with
Donovan and Jenny on hand for Quark’s latest technological breakthrough.
Donovan: Do you smell it, Jenny?
Jenny: (sniffs) Eww, I told you not to eat that burrito.
Donovan: The smell of money, you gibbon!
-
Apparently, Dr. Kirby has invented a quantum machine
that will hopefully break the speed of light.
Donovan: Now send the chimp into space.
Jenny: It’s not like it talks or anything…
- The machine is activated, but blinding sparks start popping out.
Kirby: Something’s wrong!
- When the machine is shut off, things look disappointingly normal….
Jenny: Bonzo’s still here.
Donovan: Where’s Kirby?
Perhaps they should ask the
giant alien monster that’s appeared...
Donovan: That thing… ate Dr. Kirby!
- Meanwhile back at Quark, Rusty is amusing himself with the great Canadian pastime, unfortunately causing havoc in the lab in the process…
Rusty: Goal?
- Slate reprimands Rusty and asks him to find some other activity.
-
Slate then has her hands full trying to figure out
what exactly happened at the desert test site, and the monster’s origins. A desert insect or lizard?
Slate: Those tend to be only vicious when radioactive, mutated.
Donovan looks uncomfortable, and then suggests
that it is an alien terrorist wrecking havoc, explaining that the quantum
machine has the ability to launch its travelers to other galaxies at the speed
of light.
-
Meanwhile, a dejected Rusty is moping down a
corridor.
Rusty: I never get to have any fun.
Upon which he
accidentally slaps his hockey puck under a door.
Rusty (reads): ‘Arch-I-val sto-rage’.
Rusty of course breaks in to
retrieve his puck, but surprisingly comes across… another boy robot!
Deactivated, unfortunately.
Rusty: Power pack not included.
- So he goes off to dig one up in Dr. Slate’s lab, and places it in the robot.
Earl: EP-327 reporting for duty!
Rusty: He’s alive!
Slate: Rusty, what’s going on?
Rusty: Dr. Slate, meet my new friend!
Earl: Defense mode – ha! (throws Rusty across the room)
Slate: He’s not your friend, Rusty.
Earl: He’s a whippersnapper.
Slate: He’s an early prototype.
Rusty: Ooh; then I think I’ll call him Earl.
- Meanwhile, Rusty has ‘fun’ with Earl.
Earl: Initiate sparring practice! (starts fighting with Rusty; eventually spills into the faculty cafeteria. Suddenly, Rusty’s Big Guy signal goes off)
Earl: Enemy fire! (prepares to fire, causing Quark employees to run for cover)
Rusty: Earl, it’s okay! It’s the Big Guy’s signal!
Rusty takes off.
-
An excited Rusty, meets up with the BG at an
airstrip.
Rusty: Sorry I’m late, BG; I have this new friend, and I –
BG: No time for show and tell, son. (spots the alien monster) Time to administer the Heimlich.
Unfortunately, the alien has a laser eye that disables the BG. Rusty has to go it alone.
BG: And steer clear of that trick eye.
-
Rusty begins
to track the alien into a warehouse; however, the alien is waiting.
Dwayne: Kid’s walking into an ambush!
-
Sure enough, the alien gets the drop on Rusty, surprising
him.
Rusty: You scared me! I mean, you don’t scare me. (aims) You’re in for a world of hurt.
The monster, however, does not
attack and seems to be trying to communicate with Rusty.
Rusty: I think maybe he wants to talk, maybe.
And then somebody or something
(BG?) fires at the alien, and it knocks Rusty out of the way as it leaves.
Rusty: Never mind...
-
Gen. Thornton voices concern to Dwayne that Rusty
let a dangerous monster get away.
Thornton: I’m starting to believe the boy robot’s too soft.
I believe at this point he elects
to send out Earl.
- Meanwhile, Rusty is trying to convince BG that the alien is OK; after all, it didn’t try to eat him…
BG: You’re also steel-plated, son.
Dwayne is then alerted that the
alien monster has been sighted near a radio telescope array. And Earl shows up.
Earl: EP-327, ready to eliminate!
BG: For the love of Mike…
Rusty: Not Mike, Earl! He’s my newest, bestest friend! Er, besides you, Big Guy.
Earl then says a complicated jargon of words that means he’s going to scout out the alien.
Rusty: Earl’s up to speed on all the military lingo.
BG seems suitably impressed.
-
While split up, Rusty runs into the alien again, who
again attempts to communicate with Rusty.
Rusty: Oh no, you got me into trouble last time
The alien then shows Rusty a crude
drawing he has made of himself, a man, and the quantum machine on a metal
attachment to the radio array
Rusty (impressed): Hey this looks like you! You did it? Good eye.
-
The alien then rips out the attachment and tries to
give the picture to Rusty. Unfortunately, he is shot at by an angry Earl – the
monster runs off again.
Earl: Ha! Conspiring with the enemy!
Rusty: What’s ‘conspiring’ mean?
The two fly
back to the BG, and Earl has mouthful to say about Rusty.
Earl: I demand a recall of boy unit Rusty; his pacifist behavior threatens to compromise our mission.
Rusty in turn defends himself by again insisting the alien is peaceful.
Rusty: He’s a sensitive artist type – look what he drew! (hands picture to BG, who doesn’t really look at it)
- This is because Dwayne is busy teleconferencing with Gen. Thornton, who agrees with Earl and wants Rusty pulled. BG relays this to Rusty, who is understandably dejected.
Rusty: You’re lucky you don’t have human emotions, BG; they mess everything up (flies off)
Dwayne looks
on sympathetically, and then realizes what the picture in his hand is trying to
tell him.
Dwayne: What the - ?
A conference with Dr. Slate surmises that there must have been a sort of continuum rift because the quantum machine was miscalibrated – instead of sending a person off at the speed of light, it caused people in two different galaxies to switch places. So there was a reason the alien was at the Space Center and the Radio Arrays.
BG: Big guy just wants to go home.
Dwayne: Guess I owe Rusty an apology.
- BG and Earl find the alien back at the Quantum machine, where it initially is skittish.
BG: It’s all right, boy. (shows picture) We got your message.
The alien looks relieved… that is until Earl starts firing at it. BG rushes to protect the alien.
Earl: Defend the enemy, you are the enemy. He attacks BG, and … decapitates him.
- And Gen. Thornton finds this out at Quark, and is understandably upset.
Thornton: He did what to the BG? Well, put that little thug back into storage.
Slate tells him
this is not an easy task, because Earl’s program won’t let him stop until a
mission is complete. Soo…
Thornton: Put on your war paint, soldier; you’re going back in.
Rusty: All right!
- So Rusty catches up to Earl, who is in the middle of dealing a finishing blow to the alien…
Rusty: Hey, Earl – I thought I told you to play nice.
Earl: It’s time to ground you.
Rusty: Friends don’t hurt friends
- And the showdown begins, high noon style. Both robots attck with very similar weapons, but eventually Rusty manages to pile-drive Earl into the dust
Earl (empathy ploy): Rusty, surely you would help a fellow officer who’s down?
Rusty: I may have a human emotion grid, but I’m no dummy.
-
Earl breaks free somehow, and the two struggle
close-range, trying to grab at each other’s processor chips. Rusty finally ends the duel by blasting
Earl’s head off and then removing the power pack from his body.
BG: My kind of justice - poetic. (to alien) Friend, you’re going home.
And the alien looks very tired and very relieved.
-
So, the Quantum machine is again recalibrated to the
original specifications and turned on.
But before the alien departs, Rusty also has a picture to give him.
Rusty: I brought you a souvenir – that’s you, and that’s me, and that’s Earl’s head.
Upon which Rusty gets pulled away
from the Quantum machine; the alien takes the picture and kind of waves goodbye
to Rusty. When the machine stops, Dr.
Kirby is in its place.
Kirby: Hello, everyone. (faints)
BG commends Rusty about being able to figure out what
was really going on with the alien.
Rusty: It’s a human thing, BG – you wouldn’t understand.
Dwayne (grins):
Whatever you say, Rusty.